


Captain's Booty

by dollylux



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Coming Out, Jensen in booty shorts, Love at First Sight, M/M, Pirate-themed restaurants, Shy Jared, book nerds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-03
Updated: 2014-09-03
Packaged: 2018-02-15 23:31:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2247468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollylux/pseuds/dollylux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>written for spn-masquerade. original prompt: </p><p>Jared just came out to Chad and as awesome as Chad is he wants to take Jared out to celebrate. Little does Jared know the place is like Hooters with roller skates and male and female wait staff. Jensen and Danni work their and are equally popular. Jared is overwhelmed he doesn’t know if he wants a bacon cheeseburger or Jensen’s ass or both but not at the same time cuz that would be gross. Jensen thinks the tall blushing guy is just adorable and so his type.</p><p>(I changed it from a Hooters with roller skates to a pirate-themed Hootersesque place. Because I'm classy.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Captain's Booty

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted here: http://spn-masquerade.livejournal.com/2393.html?thread=41305#t41305

When Jared finally came out to Chad at around 4:35am on the long stumble back to their apartment, Chad had stopped in the middle of the street and laughed for three minutes straight.

“Are you fucking for real? Are you serious? Really? Like give-it-to-me-baby, YMCA, International Male catalogue gay?!”

And on and on and on, since last night.

Now it’s the next afternoon and Jared is hungover, and he’s got his hands shoved in his pockets, sunglasses over his nose as he strides down the street, trying to act like he doesn’t know the guy in the ‘2 Legit 2 Quit’ shirt beside him who can’t stop shaking his head and saying things like:

“So, does this mean that whole thing with Sandy was fake?”

“Is that why you wear so much fuckin’ pink?”

“Do you wear like, panties and shit, too?”

“Do you want to be the fucker or the fuckee, ‘cause--”

“Chad,” Jared hisses, turning on his heel and practically taking out a guy jogging by with his messenger bag, “could we maybe _not_ talk about my sex life in public? Please?”

Chad pushes his mirrored sunglasses up and raises his eyebrows at Jared, blinking like he’s innocent, like he’s ever been innocent in his damn life.

“Sorry, Jay. My mind’s just kinda blown, yanno? I mean, I’m happy for you. For real! Be your own special butterfly or whatever.”

Jared eyes him warily, about to say several things before he finally just lets out a little laugh, ducking his head away from Chad’s eerily earnest expression.

“Thanks, Chad.”

“Hey. Hey!” Chad grabs him by the arms and gives him a shake, his normally squinty eyes growing to almost normal size in his excitement. “I just got the best idea. We gotta celebrate. C’mon.”

He yanks Jared bodily down the street, and Jared follows because he’s too hungover to consider his options. He sighs.

“Where are we going?”

“The perfect place.”

 

\----

 

The ‘perfect place’ turns out to be some restaurant named Captain’s Booty on Dirty Sixth. Jared stops in front of it, staring up at the slapdash wooden planks nailed together, the pirate flag on the logo, and the crowds of people in and out and around it. He turns to look at Chad.

“No.”

Chad sighs, pointing over to the restaurant in exasperation.

“You don’t even know what this place is! You never come over here because you say there isn’t a bookstore nearby and that’s always a sign that you don’t need to be there.”

Jared nods, once and decisive, starting back the way they came.

“Yep. Exactly.”

Chad grabs Jared’s hoodie sleeve, tugs him back and gives him his most pleading look.

“Just… come in. Just have a seat and look at the menu and see if it’s worth eating at. All I’m asking.”

Jared chews on the inside of his cheek, staring Chad down from behind his sunglasses.

“And if I wanna go, we can go?”

Chad nods, doing a weird little Pomeranian-type dance in place, like he already knows he’s won.

Jared sighs.

“Okay, fine.”

“Fuck, yeah! Let’s do this.” Chad practically runs to the door, yanking it open and ushering Jared inside.

Captain’s Booty, as Jared should have expected, has a bit of a pirate theme.

Okay, a heavy, heavy pirate theme.

Skulls and rum and parrots and ships and treasure chests are absolutely _everywhere_ , and all of the servers are dressed in--

“Oh,” Jared breathes as he tugs his sunglasses off, the air leaving his body on a long exhale when a guy holding a tray walks by him in the tiniest, clingiest red and black striped shorts a man could wear in public.

“Hi! Just the two of you?” A chipper voice sounds off to Jared’s left, but he can’t tear his eyes away, can’t stop staring at all of the asses that jiggle as they go by, all of the chests bare except for tiny scraps of faux-ragged vests, the tiny bit of eyeliner, and the dazzling smiles of all the gorgeous, gorgeous men.

“Dude, stop jerking off and c’mon.” Chad gives Jared a shove and he blinks out of it, stumbling along in front of Chad, and following the short brunette who is leading them to a table under a TV showing a football game.

He drops down into the chair with a sigh, a little dazed as he returns his attention to all the, heh, booty milling around them, not paying a bit of attention as the hostess puts menus down in front of them.

“Danni will be your server, and she’ll be right with you.” Jared looks up just in time to see the girl give them a winning smile before she’s off, back to her hostess stand prison. 

“Danni. Sound like a hot dude to you, man? Sound like a guy with a big schlong or what?” Chad grabs his menu, beaming down at it like he’s so damn proud of himself. 

“What _is_ this place?” Another ass--err, male server--goes by and Jared tunes out, zeroing in on said ass, which just might be the juiciest one he’s seen since they got here.

“--and Rosey loved coming here, so we gave it a shot. And man, the corset things the girls wear? Pushes their tits up to their chins, I swear to God.”

Jared blinks, turns to frown at Chad.

“Girls?”

Chad narrows his eyes, reaching over to grab Jared’s chin and turn him until he sees one of the female servers in question, laced-up corset and flamboyant, piratey hat making it completely obvious that she works here. He looks around of his own volition now, spotting just as many girl pirates as guys. Oh.

If he had any lingering questions about any possible attraction to females, they’re all gone now.

Chad is smirking at him, about to open his stupid mouth and say something when a girl strides up, the click of her tall, black pirate boots announcing her.

“Hi, welcome to Captain’s Booty. I’m Danni and I’ll be takin’ care of y’all today. Can I start you off with some--”

“Wait. _You’re_ Danni?” Chad takes a long, long look at her admittedly lovely breasts before finally meeting her eyes, his eyebrows raised. The girl blinks at him, hands going to her trim waist under the corset. Jared can sense the attitude before she even starts speaking.

“Uh, yeah? Is there a problem?”

Chad laughs, unsure now, squirming in his seat and avoiding her eyes. “No, there’s. I mean, you’re not a problem. How could you ever be a problem with a rack like that?”

Danni purses her lips, head tilting a little as she glares at Chad, hard.

“It’s just that, uh,” Chad hurries along, lifting a finger to point at Jared accusingly, “Jared here just told me last night that he likes dick, so I took him here to celebrate.”

Jared stares at Chad in horror, his entire face heating up. “ _Chad!_ ”

Danni’s expression softens as she glances at Jared, her red curls bouncing when she looks over at him. “You just came out?”

Jared opens his mouth a few times, conflicting words hovering at the back of his tongue before he jumps up, banging his knee on the table but he just grits his teeth and holds in any sound.

“I forgot to wash my hands I’ll be right back I need to, um.”

Jared keeps his head down as he weaves through the crowd toward the neon sign that says “Poop Deck,” vowing to himself that he’ll never get drunk with Chad again, never, not ever. He’s _never_ coming out to Chad _ever_ again.

He stares at his reflection once he’s ensconced in the bathroom, wondering what the hell he’s doing here, why he’s not just at home finishing up the the book he’s reading and maybe talking on the phone to his sister, telling her his secret too since he’s already told the loudest person in his life.

It doesn’t matter. This doesn’t matter. Just get back out there, eat some tilapia, and go home. This is just an hour of his life, that’s all.

He does wash his hands because it’s important to do so before a meal, and he steps out of the Poop Deck feeling better than he had when he’d gone in. He’s almost smiling as he nears his table again and--

“Hey!” There’s a pointy finger shoving into his chest and he blinks down at the girl attached to it, the brunette hostess girl with a nametag that reads _Gen_.

Jared shrinks back from her, rubbing the sore spot on his chest. “What?”

“What, are you too good for Danni? Huh? Think you’ll get a better server than her? Because you won’t! She’s amazing!” She’s advancing on him again, that damn bony finger going right back to his chest, poke-poke-poke.

“Gen, wait, chill. Babe, it’s okay,” Danni is there suddenly, the feathers from her hat billowing and tickling Jared’s nose. He wrinkles his nose and takes a step back from them, head down, hands buried in his pockets. God, he just wants to go home. Just wants to go home. 

They’re having a whispered conversation now, low and private and the way they’re touching tells Jared that they’re definitely together and probably have been for awhile. He aches a little in jealousy at knowing someone that well. Gen turns to look at him now, her full mouth curling into a smile.

“So, you just came out? Really?”

Jesus Christ.

He takes a deep breath, hands in fists in his pockets, his cheeks on fire. But he nods.

“Aww, that is so cute! Congratulations!” She grabs his hand and gives it a squeeze, beaming at him now. “I’m sorry, the guy you came in with is _so_ obviously straight, and I just assumed you guys would want a girl server. My bad.”

“I don’t,” Jared mumbles, lifting one side of his shoulder in a shrug, “I don’t, uh. It doesn’t really. I mean it’s just. Whatever is fine.”

They’re both staring at him thoughtfully, like they’re thinking the same thing at the same time. Which they probably are. Danni leans down to whisper in Gen’s ear, and Gen is grinning evilly at Jared by the time she stands back up again.

“Go back to your table, Jared. We’ll get this sorted out.”

“Uh. O-okay.” He ducks past them, eyes on the ground, anxiety pushing up along the edges of his vision, crowding his throat. It’s like going to a restaurant and knowing they’re going to sing Happy Birthday to you or something. And Jared hates it, _hates_ being the center of attention, always has. He looks up to find his table but doesn’t stop walking and he runs smack into one of those gorgeous, round asses in pirate booty shorts, making the guy fall forward onto an empty table, his thankfully-empty tray clattering to the ground. 

Jared catches himself on one of the chairs to keep from falling himself, eyes widening in fear as he reaches for the guy to help him up. “I am so sorry! I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going and this place is kinda crowded and I should have been--”

The guy turns around, a patient smile on his face that is clearly strained, and his bright green eyes meet Jared’s and the whole world stops moving at precisely that second.

Because this guy is undeniably, painfully, absolutely the most stunningly beautiful person that Jared has ever, ever seen. His eyeliner just makes the green of his eyes even greener, the slight flush from exertion on his cheeks sending the smatter of freckles on his face into stark relief, like he just walked straight out of Jared’s dreams and into a pirate-themed restaurant just in time for Jared’s humiliating, impromptu coming-out party.

“...Oh.”

One side of the guy’s mouth lifts in amusement.

“ _Oh._ I’ve never gotten that one before.”

Jared blinks, staring straight into this guy’s eyes like he’s never done with anyone else before, has always hated eye contact until he’s face-to-face with the most beautiful boy in the world, and now he can’t stop looking.

“S-sorry. I wasn’t looking where… I’m just…” Jared swallows, licks his lips, very, very aware of the fact that his heart is pounding in his ears, that he probably looks like the creepiest creep in the world right now but he can’t tear his eyes away. “Are you okay?”

The guy shrugs, leaning down to pick his tray up off the ground. “I’ll live. These boots are actually pretty good at keeping me from falling on my ass, so they’re not just pretty to look at.”

Jared lets his eyes trail down at the verbal invitation to do so, taking in those unbelievably tight shorts and the mile-long lines of the guy’s legs that are bare and lightly tanned and as bowed as any cowboy’s. And there at the bottom, as promised, are a pair of black leather boots that come up to just below his knees, laced up tight and looking like they belong in a porno, or like maybe they’d be perfect wrapped around Jared’s neck while--

“I’ve gotta go.”

He tucks tail and practically runs back to the table, and he realizes as he falls to his seat that this is the first time he’s ever considered Chad a safe place.

“Dude, where the hell did you go!? That chick Danni almost punched me!”

Jared closes his eyes and forces himself to breathe. Don’t panic. Not a big deal. There are probably a few beautiful men that work here. Dozens, maybe. That was probably just a heat of the moment thing, or some weird anxiety-induced euphoria that made that guy seem as gorgeous as he did. 

“Hey, boys. Sorry about the mix up. I’m Jen, and I’ll be taking care of you, okay?”

No.

No, no. That voice. Jared squeezes his eyes shut even tighter, refusing to open them, to look up. It can’t be him. It won’t be him. This isn’t a rom-com. This isn’t a gay Nicholas Sparks book. Life doesn’t _actually_ happen like this.

He opens his eyes.

There he is, brighter than life and more beautiful than Jared even remembered. Jen. Jen with the long, red bandana tied around his head, with the bare chest and tight tummy, with the silky, purple sash tied around his waist doubling as a server’s apron and demurely hiding his package from prying eyes. Jared finally looks up and sees that Jen is watching him, a tiny smile tugging on his full, soft mouth.

A whimper gets caught in Jared’s throat, the sound strangled but definitely audible. 

“Christ, Jay, get it together,” Chad groans, dropping his menu on the table. Jared’s face flushes hot, the heat creeping down his neck and under his hoodie. He ducks his head, shaggy hair falling over his eyes.

“It’s okay,” Jen says quietly, his voice soothing, soft and low like they’re curled up under blankets instead of in the middle of a fried fish and beer smelling restaurant. “You thirsty, Jay? Want something to drink?”

“Just. Just water,” he manages, not daring to look up again, just staring at his fingers that are trembling as they clutch his still unopened menu.

“Virgin,” Chad mutters. “I’ll have, uh. A Heineken and that stuff avocado appetizer thing.”

“Sure,” Jared hears Jen reply, and opens his menu to stare at it studiously, not daring to look back up, especially when he feels those eyes on him. “I’ll get that put in for ya, and I’ll give y’all a chance to look at the menu.”

“Thanks,” Jared mumbles, only looking up when he hears the click of Jen’s heels as he retreats. He is gifted with the sight of that thick, tight little bubble butt up close, the firm jiggle of it in those thin, stretchy shorts leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination. Jared’s dick is so game for this, is so, _so_ happy that Chad brought them here, but his dick doesn’t have a tad bit of social anxiety and a terrible shyness with beautiful boys like the rest of Jared does.

“Dude, Jay! He was _so_ eyefucking you. Whoa. I didn’t think guys could flirt like that. That was kinda hot.” Chad looks a little stunned, like a whole new world has been dropped down in front of him. 

“Oh, God, Chad, he was not. Stop it, please. I already feel like an idiot because I can’t even say a whole damn sentence to him.” He gives the menu a quick glance and decides on something just so he doesn’t have to think any more. 

“Is that the kinda guy you’re into? Like, the pretty ones?” Chad squints more than usual as he peers across the restaurant to where Jensen is perched in front of the server station, tapping on the screen of their little computer. 

Jared shrugs, grabbing the sugar container and organizing them back into types, making sure they’re all facing out. “Dunno. I guess. Haven’t really thought about it.”

Chad snorts, grabbing the sugar away from Jared and putting it back where he got it just so he can have his attention. “Bullshit. You’ve probably been fapping over dudes since you were a teenager. C’mon, tell me. What famous dudes did you think about?”

“Jeez, Chad! I don’t know! What famous girls did _you_ think about?”

“Jennifer Love-Hewitt, Tara Reid, Alyssa Milano, that crazy chick from _The Craft_ \--”

“Okay, okay. Point taken. Do you know what you want to eat?”

“Just name one.”

Jared looks up.

“Just one guy?”

Chad nearly rolls his eyes at Jared’s lame attempt at stalling, but he nods.

“Just one.”

Jared takes a deep breath, already knowing who he’s going to say before he even says it. Because there is a huge, huge, obvious number one, if his fantasies are anything to go by.

“J.T.T.”

There’s a pause.

“Who?”

Jared blushes all over again, shifting in his seat, sitting up straight, nail digging into the worn wood of the table.

“Jonathan. Taylor. Thomas.”

“...The little guy from _Home Improvement_?”

“He was also young Simba! And he was in _Man of the House_. And _Wild America_. And _I’ll Be Home for Christm_ \--”

“You wanna fuck Simba!?”

“Simba is a cartoon!” Jared realizes how shrill his voice sounds, how panicked, but people are starting to look at them now. He hides his face behind one hand, legs tensed because he’s about five seconds away from bolting.

“Ahh, I see how it is, Jay. Mhmm. Like ‘em smaller than you. Yeah? Wanna be all in control and in charge, is that it?” Chad sounds sleazier than he ever has, which is pretty impressive, and Jared’s pulse jumps when he hears the tell-tell click of heels approaching.

“Chad, just--”

“Wanna hold him down and get that ass all up and shove your--”

“Here’s your water.” Jen’s voice breaks through over Chad’s, and Jared can’t help but look up, but underline his own humiliation. Jen is smiling at him, sympathetic and more than a little amused. “Do y’all know what you want to eat yet?”

“Jared here might want something off the menu.”

Jared gapes at Chad, his eyes massive. “Chad, for fuck’s sake!”

“What!? You’re not gonna flirt. I’ll just do it for you.” Chad grins at Jen as he hands him his menu. “I want the Crab Cake Po’ Boy.

“And for you, Jared?” Jen’s looking at him again, holding the menu to his chest, sadly hiding his pretty rose-colored nipples and somehow adorable belly button.

“The beef fajitas,” Jared almost whispers, his eyes on the layers of bracelets and string tied around Jen’s wrists, on the rings on his lovely fingers as he takes Jared’s menu.

“Alright, boys. Your stuffed avocado will be right out. Lemme know if y’all need anything else, okay?” Jen, to Jared’s absolute dismay, runs a hand over Jared’s arm, giving his shoulder a firm squeeze.

Just that touch, that simple, uneventful touch, has Jared’s dick jerking to life in his jeans, pulsing painfully as Jen’s hand slips away and he struts off.

“God _damn_ ,” Chad mutters, obviously watching Jen walk away. “I don’t care who you are, that’s a hot ass. Wouldn’t make much difference in the dark, you know what I mean?”

“Stop staring at his ass,” Jared threatens through gritted teeth as he does exactly what he tells Chad not to. This stupid pirate restaurant has changed his whole life. His fantasies will never be the same again. He’s going to be poor because he’s going to live here now, going to end up broke and scavenging for change at laundromats and between couch cushions just so he can come here and order some hush puppies and cry into his tartar sauce over that beautiful, beautiful boy.

“If you don’t hit that, Jay, I’m gonna hit _you_.” Jared blinks out of his mental country song as Chad blows his straw wrapper right at Jared’s face, hiding him on the cheek just like he does every damn time. 

“He doesn’t want me. He’s probably got a boyfriend. He’s probably dating like, a linebacker or something. Or a model. Why the hell would he want me?”

Chad just stares at him.

“Dude, every girl in your class has a crush on you. You’re like, six and a half feet tall. You’re a linebacker _and_ a model, you dumbass.”

“I am not! I’m a clumsy, boring dork who would rather be at home reading the Mark Twain biography than--”

“You’d rather be at home reading than spending time with me?” A plate gets slid onto the table and Jen’s there again, smiling and putting his hands on his hips as he waits for Jared’s answer. 

“N-no. No, I didn’t mean it like that,” Jared says softly, lowering his eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m just not really good at… at--”

“Dealing with people?” Jen drops down to his knees next to their table so that they’re basically eye level, his arms folding on so he can rest his chin on them while he smiles at Jared.

“Pretty much.” Jared squirms in his chair, tugging his hoodie down over his hands and barely managing to meet Jen’s eyes.

“How is the Mark Twain biography? I’ve heard it’s good.” Jen’s voice is soft, like this is just meant for the two of them, like he doesn’t care that there are rowdy, drunk guys watching games behind him, probably staring at his ass now that he’s crouched down, not caring that Chad is groaning and slurping at his sweet tea right next to them.

“It’s fantastic,” Jared blurts out, fumbling down to grab his messenger bag off the ground and pull out the massive book. “This is the second volume. Both books together is over 1100 pages. I’m so close to being done.” 

“May I?” Jen reaches for the book but doesn’t touch it until Jared nods, hands it over to him. Jen plunks it on the table in front of him and leafs through it, eyes darting to the notes Jared made in the margins, to the highlighted passages. “Are you in school?”

“No. No, I’m the assistant lit theory professor over at UT,” Jared assures him, his eyes on Jensen’s, watching the way he reads some of the sentences, blushing for how much attention he’s paying to Jared’s notes. “This is just for fun.”

Chad snorts, diving into the stuffed avocado and thankfully not taking part in the conversation. Jared licks his lips, leans forward a little, trying not to get too distracted at how long Jen’s eyelashes are.

“So, do you work here full-time or…?”

“No, just part-time. I’m getting my masters in Early Childhood Education. I make good tips here, so I don’t have to live in a box while I do it.” He closes the book and smiles as he hands it back to Jared, standing back up to his full height.

Jared just grins like an idiot at him, struck stupid by how this guy obviously has a brain, by how pretty he is but he seems to care about reading, too. Like maybe under all that beauty, he's as much of a nerd as Jared is. He feels the twist of his stomach, the clench of nerves as he tries to figure out how he’s going to get brave enough to ask Jen out because he has to now. He has to.

“That’s… that’s awesome.”

“Amateur,” Chad coughs into his fist, and Jen actually turns to glare at him for it.

“Listen, Jared. My shift ends in about twenty minutes. After y’all get done eating here, do you maybe want to meet me over at Smithy’s Cafe across the street? They have these amazing couches in the back, and I usually go over there and read on Sundays after my shift. I’m right in the middle of _The Fortress of Solitude_ , and I can’t wait to get back into it.”

Jared’s mouth drops open a little, and he’s left staring helplessly at Jen for a few seconds before he finds his voice again. “You. You want to read with me?”

Jen manages to look shy now, and he lowers his eyes for a beat before he meets Jared’s again, giving a little nod as he chews on his bottom lip. “I mean. If that’s okay with you? I promise, I won’t be wearing this.” 

Jared follows Jen’s hand as he motions down at the pirate get-up.

“Damn,” Jared breathes, and Jen laughs.

“So, is that a yes?”

Chad lands a solid kick to Jared’s shin. Jared grits his teeth but he finds himself nodding.

“Y-yeah. Yes.”

“Great.” Jen’s grin is huge, gorgeous, absolutely blinding. “I’ll, um. Your food’ll be out soon.”

“Okay.” Jared’s smile matches Jen’s exactly, and they stare at each other stupidly for a few seconds before Jen hurries away.

Chad whoops, leaning over to clap Jared hard on the back.

“My boy’s gonna get laid!”

Jared groans. “Chad, shut up!”

 

\----

 

Danni finishes up at their table after Jen’s shift ends, and he and Chad part ways outside the restaurant. The walk to Smithy’s is short, but Jared’s hands shake in his pockets the whole way.

The bell overhead announces his entrance, and the whole pace is teeming with students, with noise and discussion and the thick scent of coffee. Jared makes his way to the back, where it’s much quieter, where those couches are that Jen talked about.

He’s there curled up on one of the couches, soft, faded jeans replacing the booty shorts, a thin, grey henley instead of the tiny vest, worn-in Converse instead the boots, and thick-rimmed glasses instead of the eyeliner. His hair is dark blonde and sticking up in short, effortlessly messy spikes, and he’s engrossed in his book.

Jared just stands there, hands in his pockets, messenger bag hanging from his shoulder, and realizes this is one of those moments, those important moments that you look back on and can pinpoint as a turning point. 

He reaches up to fix his hair, straightening his shoulders a little before he clears his throat gently.

“Hi.”

Jen looks up, a flash of green, and a smile absolutely takes over his face.

“Hi.”

Jared reaches into his bag, pulling out his book as he makes his way over. He sinks down onto the couch beside him, their eyes still locked, smiles still in place and only for each other.

“You can call me Jensen. That’s my whole name.”

 _Jensen_. Perfect.

Jared nods as he tucks his feet up on the couch, grazing Jensen’s. They look at each other for a few more seconds before they turn to their respective books, but their smiles never fade.


End file.
